Grenade of Love

As I was driving down the road today I turned on my radio to hear the popular (for now) song "Grenade" by Bruno Mars. When I first heard this song a couple of months ago my initial reaction was "are you kidding, this song is so absurd and over the top!" But today as I listened it dawned on me that this love that this song tries to talk about is the love that Jesus demonstrated for us 2,000 years ago on the cross. "Grenade" is the popular/modern/humanized version of what Jesus is all about.
In fact as I looked and thought about the lyrics more it could really be a song that Jesus sings to us. For example from the first line it emulates the heart of the human spirit:

"Easy come, easy go
That's just how you live, oh
Take, take, take it all,
But you never give"

Is this not just how we are with God sometimes, coming and going as we please. Giving and serving Him as it "suits us" or "feels good." Loving Him above all else when we don't have another idol that we would rather put in front of Him. 

Or how about the next couple of lines:

Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked

Really, all Christ asks from us is to love Him. The most important thing according to Jesus was to love the Lord your God above all else and love your neighbor as yourself. And what's our problem when this God who loves us is willing (and did) what the song talks about next:

Cause what you don't understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won't do the same


Christ is not asking for us to jump in front of a train or take a bullet to the brain. He is asking for us to realize that He did that for us. That He took on the explosion of our sin on the cross in the greatest act of love ever demonstrated. He turned our grenade of sin, that was displeasing and disgusting to God into a grenade of love by sacrificing himself as a pure and holy to cover our sin. His love explodes and covers us daily. The ramifications of this explosion changed everything. This explosion is bigger that any atomic bomb, eruption or explosion ever recorded because it changed the course of history.
His love created a way.
Now, as His children, it is time for us to catch a grenade for Jesus. To die to ourselves, our desires and flesh and take up our crosses. To follow Him, love Him and serve Him above all else. It may seem like a huge sacrifice, but look at the Lamb and all He has done for you. Don't you want to run toward a God like that with abandon. To drop everything and run toward Him?

promises, promises

I am obviously not very good at keeping promises... it seems that every time I write a new blog I promise to continue writing consistently and thus far I have been a "blogger" for around 7 months and have written 3 blogs. This is an average of 1 blog every 9 weeks... my track record is not so good. I am hardly following through with my word... As my sister was calling me out on my lack of blog activity I began to think... where else in my life is my word and action not matching. I was meditating/praying on this subject and so many things came to light. I proclaim to love the Lord and people but do the two most important things in my life cross paths? Do I share the gospel with my friends who don't know Him personally yet or do I hide behind a facade of "loving people."
As the Lord convicted me this week on this matter I heard someone say "if you really loved people wouldn't you lead them/ share with them the ultimate love of the Lord"... dang. CONVICTION. The Lord has promised me freedom and new life and has never given up on that promise, so why am I getting slack on my word. He has called us to love the Lord our God above all AND love people. So lets get to mixing... I am ready to step out in faith believing that He is going to use me. Use me to reach people for Him. To share the gospel and His story of glory!

Leaves and Pillars...

This is a New Year and I am turning a new leaf... I am sure you have heard that a hundred times from people. People turn all kinds of "new leaves" this time of year. "I am going to lose weight," "I am changing my life," for students it is often "I am going to do better in school"... etc. We have all heard it before, but I am really am turning a new leaf. These past four months have been an interesting time for me and my walk with God. When I returned from Bolivia I felt out of place, disoriented and confused. I did not understand why God had called me back here... back to North Carolina, back to school, back to the grind of day to day life. I felt like I had left my heart in Bolivia and was running around trying to muster up the passion, excitement and drive I had previously possessed for my daily activities. 

It was an incredibly confusing time for me and I felt so uncomfortable and out of control. So naturally as a control freak I snatched the control of my life back from God and began to try to manage my life. To establish some comfort in my new state of mind and my new circumstances. As it always is when we try to control our lives it was a mess. I felt more out of control, more confused, more unsettled than ever before. Still I did not seek God in it because if you know my God you know that He is a God who stirs things up. He takes our lives, our plans, our futures, our hearts and makes us new! Well because God had just worked so much in me and done so much repo work on my heart over the summer I hardly recognized myself. I for the first time let my life be transformed by someone other than myself. Transformation for me is a scary thing and I immediately pulled back and took back control... which lead to the difficulty and struggle...

These past four months have been hard but God has shown me SO much through them. He has shown me that He is sovereign, He is Lord, He loves me, He is patient and seeks after me (His dumb sheep who wanders around confused and loses her way all of the time...)

I know realize that rather than attempting to control my circumstances, my surroundings, where God has called me, my future or the myriad of other things I try to control. He calls me to live a life in surrender to Him. 

So I did it again. I surrendered all (I think that I am finally getting that it is a daily thing not a just a one time gig...) I gave my life, my all to Him again. 

My God never ceases to amaze me in His provision and how gentle He is with me! One of my big stressors or things that really made me anxious as I was trying to control my life was what I was going to do this summer. As I tried with all of my might to make something work nothing settled well or felt right in my gut as my mom would say. I came up with and bounced around it seems like hundreds of options. I looked into nannying, working in retail, working in an externship, interning somewhere, working in a camp really everything...

Finally after I relinquished all to Him, He provided an amazing opportunity...

I spent the last weekend in White, GA at the AIM training camp working on the serve team for the 50 some college students that left today to make change in Christ's name all over the world. What a great experience to go and be inspired by people my age who have a the same heart and call to the nations...

At training camp is where God really broke some of these prisons I had put myself back in (like control) so as I relinquished my grip on these things God's grace and mercy had room to come in and fill me again. He provided a potential opportunity to be a leader with AIM for the Summer 2011 Real Life trips! WHAT?? 

Who would have ever thought that He would maybe want to use me to encourage and build up fellow college students in that way? I was in shock! 

At training camp Jimmy (one of the leaders at AIM) encouraged the participants to write what God was doing in their lives down. Kind of like the Israelites built pillars or altars to God to remember the promises or covenants God had established with them. Although I am not a participant I took that advice and am going to do my best to update this blog more regularly with what God is teaching me and how He is shaping me! This blog is my pillar. I am setting up a pillar of me turning a new leaf. Not being afraid to seek God and His will. Not being afraid or hesitant of getting my life turned upside down. Not being afraid to be made new and molded. I SURRENDER TO YOU GOD! I hope to encourage you through my words and I hope that you too are seeking renewal and trusting in the Lord!

Are We Losing Our Awe and Wonder?

Last night was a night that took a surprising twist and ended up leaving me thinking...
My mom came up to Greenville (well I guess over to Greenville) for dinner and to just hang out with my sister and I. The plan was for me to cook for my mom, but that plan quickly was thrown out the window and turned into my mom cooking for me... what's a girl supposed to do with a mom who cooks for a living! After our Indian feast Rachel (my sister) then wanted my mom and I to go with her to a screening of an independent film called Dive about food consumption in America.
My initial thought was "uhhh I just did school all day and the last thing I want to do is go sit in another auditorium..." but upon hearing further details about how it was about food consumption and food waste I became intrigued! I try to live a life that is "earth friendly" if there is such a thing and so I at least thought I would get a couple of tips on how to conserve and be a better steward of this beautiful planet!
We went to the film in the art building on ECU's campus with every environmentally conscience, artsy, earthy person in Greenville. (i love these people by the way!)  The film was awesome and I highly recommend seeing it! But the hidden treat was the producer/director of the film was there and had a Q&A session following the screening.

People asked a variety of questions regarding his background as a film-maker, why he used vegetables to spell words out (duh... this is a movie about food) and every other question you can imagine. After 10 minutes of the Q&A session I was tired of the auditorium and wanted to leave so we could get over to Local Yogurt before it closed! (just trying to keep my priorities straight!) But the last question at first annoyed me but his answer surprised and got me thinking! The lady on the front row asked why he used so many shots of the sky, clouds, flowers and other "natural scenes" throughout the movie... Me as a the smarty I am thought this is a "natural" movie so "natural" scenes are only natural.
The directors answers was along those lines but not quite.

He shared a story about his toddler son (who is featured throughout the movie) sitting the other day outside staring at a flower. He examined for hours the way it is made, the way it sways in the wind, the bees it attracts and all the other fascinating features about a flower. Yes that is right a flower holding a toddlers attention for that long! He used this story to express how we need to keep our fascination and connection with the earth and its wonder. His point was if we have awe and wonder for this planet and creation then when it is being destroyed we will act out and protect this thing we value.

As I thought about this concept of awe and wonder I wondered if we were losing our awe and wonder with God? Do we really live in a state of awe and wonder with the Lord? Are we constantly in a place of wonder at His creation, His sacrifice, His grace and forgiveness, His character, His everything? When you examine the scriptures and really let it sink in that the Lord of All sent His Son to die for you and me that is pretty awe-inspiring! Or the fact that He made and created everything from this Earth to the millions of other planets and galaxies out there to the way my pinkie toe turns and hides under my fourth toe! Again, pretty awe-inspiring!
I think it is important that we maintain our sense of awe and wonder not only for this planet but for our God who if anything should inspire a little awestruck wonder it should be Him!

And So It Begins...

And so my personal blogging adventure begins...
I began blogging this summer when I went on a two month mission trip to Cochabamba, Bolivia with Adventures in Missions.
Adventures is a WONDERFUL organization that uses blogging as a tool to keep missionaries connected with supporters, family and friends while out in the mission field. They required us to blog at least once a week. I was honestly really concerned about having to come up with something to write every week while in Bolivia but every week God taught me countless lessons and gave me the words I needed to share them and my many wonderful experiences there.
Just as He provided me with words and lessons in Bolivia I pray that He will give me words and lessons to share here! I hope that this blog will be a place where I can share all that God is teaching, showing and growing me and a place where I can share my experiences and life!
I decided to call this blog "Where You Go I'll Go..." because as I was trying to come up with a title for this new adventure I began to sing the Brian Johnson song "Where You Go I'll Go" and thought 'you know that really is my goal.' My goal is to follow God wherever He leads me. I honestly have NO idea where that is but I do know that I have a God who loves and adores me and has HUGE plans for my life!
I cannot wait to see where my God is leading me... the plans He has for me and the life I have to live!
Thanks for accompanying me on this journey!